He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
