I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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