Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
