I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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