Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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