I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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