If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Randomize
