You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
