We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
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Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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