dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
