I have demons in me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
