just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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