Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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