what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
