God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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