Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
