you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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