I'm really into asian looking animals
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
