STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
