Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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