who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
