So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
