I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
