okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
