Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
