Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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