He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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