he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
