Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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