hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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