We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize