Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
