You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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