apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
