i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
