i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
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organizing the empties. That sober.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
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Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.