I am puke
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Bring me that man meat
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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