Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.