is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
