Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.