OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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