Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I want to fling myself into the sun
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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