we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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