I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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