people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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