you guys were way drunker than both of me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
