what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
