if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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