so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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