i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
