Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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