He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
