dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
