tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drunk is not a location!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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