The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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