He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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