She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
