lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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