I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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