Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
