R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
