I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
this hospital has no fireball
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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