Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He passed out mid-signature
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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