Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
