i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize