Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
