Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
