we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am one with the molecules
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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