i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
