I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
