I just threw up on my dentist
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
