What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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