is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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