I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
