Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
